After I wrote my post the other day I kind of had a melt-down, dwelling on the things I am not able to do or fix at this time. I cried for a bit and felt sorry for myself.
At this very moment in my life...I am struggling with molestation, rape, and domestic violence against members of my family. It hurts to know these things and to hear about them.
I know that I can't change what has happened but what hurts the most is the loss of innocence. These crimes happened to children under the age of 17. Their lives are changed forever and so is mine. This bastard came in and changed how they will forever look at the world, took away trust, and added a fear within them that will always be there.
I am so scared of my feelings in all this, I am afraid of cracking when around the children, especially when I am one of the people they need to be a rock, a confidant, and a safe place. This is part of the reason I need to talk with someone. Yes, I have begun the process.
So it's almost Halloween again!
1 year ago