WHY ME??

I feel like a poster child for bad news and life altering experiences.

I am still trying to put any piece of this together. I received some news about some test results that has and is going to change the rest of my life. I cried for a little bit, trying to keep some wits about myself, because screaming was my first instinct. The doctor was extremely supportive which was very very helpful. He pleaded with me to not lose any sleep over this. All I wanted at the time was my BFF and a big hug. Thanks BFF for decifering through the tears, telling me things are going to be ok, and most of all making me laugh.

I am so fucking scared. I want to curl up and cry my eyes out. I know it will not change the results but shit I don't understand why ME!!! Can't I just catch a break, just once. This won't be something I will be able to fully disclose. I can say that the pre-emptive medication we used before the results were in caused an extreme allergy. That is not a good thing. I ended up in an ambulance and emergency room for hours. It was scary but everything is allright now.

I know that they say that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well at this point I should be wonder woman and superman rolled up into one. That means I have super powers....so should I use them for good or evil????

I just wanted to get this out in some way. Thanks everyone

What a difference a day or two can make..

I haven't been on here for a few days. So many things have been going on. So I am not sure how much the incident at Ft. Hood has been discussed. I do have to say my whole family lives there, so it was a shock to hear while driving down the road on the radio. I was on pins and needles until I heard my family was all ok and safe.

My brother works there. I will say that he was instrumental in helping the injured. I am proud of him!!!!! He expressed how hard it was to be there and know some of the people.

Last post I spoke of having a test done. The test came out just fine. However I ended up with some incredible pain (not related) that has been so hard to deal with. This pain should go away within a week but hard to deal with nonetheless. I have expressed how I would have rather had my eyes poked with a nail instead of deal with this pain. I am feeling better, but tired from being in so much pain.

My birthday was extraordinarily quiet. For the first time I did not do anything for my special day. I am still shocked about that.

Hope you are going to have a great weekend??!!!!

Random Dozen

From: http://2nd-cup-of-coffee.blogspot.com/


1. Tell me something about your favorite teacher.
My college english teacher was the most down to earth person. She was always there and supportive, especially when I wanted to do my big paper on SEX. She actually really liked it.

2. Tell me about one pivotal moment in your life.
Not being able to have surgery after another major medical event preceeded it. Which has caused permanent nerve damage in my body.

3. About favorite colors--a lot of people will ask you what it is, but I want to know why it is. What feeling or memory does it evoke?
Red, the memory it evokes is PROM. I had a RED dress made for me due to my family funding and my disproportioned body (large breasts and smaller frame). The dress fit me like a glove and I looked fantastic.

4. What's a sure sign that you're getting older?
I spend more time at the doctor's office than I do anywhere else besides work.

5. Please don't sermonize, but halloween--is it a yes or no for you?
NO

6. What's your favorite musical?
I haven't seen but a few, they are not my thing, so the old stand by of Grease is it.

7. Are you more of a city mouse or country mouse?
City mouse all the way.

8. Did you know that it is possible, for a small fee, to name a real start after someone? (It's true! Google it!) If someone were to name a star for you, would you appreciate it for its whimsy and romance, or would you say, "Are you kidding me? For $19.95 we could have gone to the movie and actually bought popcorn."
I definetly know this is real, but I would love it coming from my 'young' kids but other than that, no way. It does not have that sort of appeal to me.

This question comes from paula at His ways are not our ways.
9. What's the craziest thing you've ever been doing and texted during it? I only thought of this b/c I was about to try to text during my walking video but I didn't.
Holding my daughter's hand, while she was pushing to deliver my last grandson...I was her person. (BTW, I kept it G rated)

Paula, you do know that this blog is rated G, right?

10. "It's not a party unless there is food and spirits.

11. When you're stuck in traffic or a waiting room, what do you do to pass the time? PS: There are no magazines available.
Texting, of course!!!

12. If you weren't yourself, would you be friends with you?
Yes, because I know that I am loyal and I don't just tell other people your business.